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Post by Benji Duncan on Apr 21, 2007 1:47:43 GMT -5
I've been single for 5 years, had one relationship and was single 6 years before that, so I know all too well how difficult it is to find a suitable partner in northern michigan.
Hopefully, singles will be able to use this board to at least form some decent friendships that will make the occasional lonely night less lonely. But don't cancel all your subscriptions to dating sites just because you joined NMF.
This board is also for discussion about different genders and how they relate to one another, discussions of the tenets of our existing or failed sexual relationships and discussion of human sexuality. So fire away. Nothing is taboo.
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Josh
Junior Member
Posts: 75
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Post by Josh on May 4, 2007 19:47:56 GMT -5
SWM My name is Jose. I like long walks in the park, dogs, and candle lit dinners whilst listening to Barry Manilow crooning his top hits with males or females. Benji, if you ever consider swinging to the dark side I am 6'2 of sheer tanned chocolate.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Post by Benji Duncan on May 4, 2007 20:15:54 GMT -5
lol
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Snow
New Member
[M:0]
Posts: 7
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Post by Snow on May 16, 2007 16:08:55 GMT -5
The last relationship I had ended in '98..and went 6 years with no dates,no nothing. Then I met a guy in 2004. We seemed to hit it off pretty good. Went out a few times, had fun. But then it was "Hi you want to come over for some afternoon delight". No more going out or even for a ride. I thought,no way...I didnt want to be his "sex buddy". Then in same breath he would talk about this gal he wanted to get with because she was so"hot". I thought omg, this guy is short on manners, what a thing to say to someone you want to take to bed.LOL I wouldnt lower myself to that level. Heck, I am not that desperate. So now it has been over 2 1/2 years and no b/f, no nothing. I dont like going to bars. Not the best place to meet a guy. So I guess i will stay on POF and see what heppens...
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Post by Benji Duncan on May 17, 2007 3:00:52 GMT -5
The last relationship I had ended in '98..and went 6 years with no dates,no nothing. Then I met a guy in 2004. We seemed to hit it off pretty good. Went out a few times, had fun. But then it was "Hi you want to come over for some afternoon delight". No more going out or even for a ride. I thought,no way...I didnt want to be his "sex buddy". Then in same breath he would talk about this gal he wanted to get with because she was so"hot". I thought omg, this guy is short on manners, what a thing to say to someone you want to take to bed.LOL I wouldnt lower myself to that level. Heck, I am not that desperate. So now it has been over 2 1/2 years and no b/f, no nothing. I dont like going to bars. Not the best place to meet a guy. So I guess i will stay on POF and see what heppens... I detest bars. Going to a bar for me is like paying four dollars an hour to have someone shout in your ear. One time I met a girl in a bar and thought, "boy she seemed like a very charismatic and charming person." Then I saw her once outside the bar and realized she wasn't. I was fooled because at the bar, her loud mouth seemed natural and outside in the normal world her shouting all the time made her look crazy. Many loud mouths probably like going to bars for that reason. In a world of shouting anyone can look charming. It can be difficult when someone you like devalues you. I've learned when that happens it has very little to do with you and much more to do with them. Most small minded people like to date other small minded people because they're more emotionally predictable. Intelligence is unpredictable and an intelligent person throws them off balance. I've recently come to terms with the fact that I'm a romantic anorexic. I think I have an erroneous belief that staying single keeps me strong and dating will weaken me somehow. Like in POF for instance, I get lots of messages from women but never ask to meet any of them. I think I only use the site for emotional validation. |
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Post by Lil Ol' Brenn on Oct 8, 2007 23:31:27 GMT -5
Benji,
What exactly is "POF"..Is this something advantageous? You have me intrigued
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Post by Benji Duncan on Oct 9, 2007 0:39:42 GMT -5
plentyoffish.com It's a 100% free dating site. Just so you know though, I'll probably delete this post soon because I'm setting up my own dating service in NMF and I would consider POF a competitive site.
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Post by Lil Ol' Brenn on Oct 25, 2007 20:04:59 GMT -5
I'm in my early 30s and have been single since the Clinton administration. I have a job I enjoy where I earn a pretty good living, I volunteer and am involved at my church, I have hobbies both solitary and social, and as far as looks go, I'm not gorgeous but I'm not hideous either. I'd say average is a good description in almost every way. As I've also said, I've been single for years. I hate it. I can get by well enough by myself, but it's lonely. Most of my friends are married, so if I hang out with them, I'm a third or fifth wheel. Most of the people I know at work have or are having children and that's a further separation. It doesn't seem like I know anyone who is at a similar-enough life stage to share what I'm going through. I try not to let being single stop me from doing anything I want to do. I go to movies and out to dinner alone. The last few vacations I took alone -- which was nice because I did exactly what I wanted, but books aren't great company at restaurants. The loneliness has been getting to me. I've contemplated moving, switching jobs, and other major life changes just to try to meet people, just to fix one problem, but I know that's a setup for disaster. It's just I've been single for so long that I'm frustrated with being continuously frustrated. It's wearing me out. I don't know what to do. I've haven't tried online dating, I would like some input from anyone thats has tried this before. The common denominator is me, and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong or why I feel this way. Maybe my heart has never mended.  |
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Post by Sweet Snowqueen on Oct 25, 2007 21:17:40 GMT -5
Don't run away.......you are a beautiful woman who is obviously very intelligent. Maybe you are looking too hard, the answer may be right in front of your face. May I ask....Why are you broken hearted??
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Post by Benji Duncan on Oct 25, 2007 22:25:06 GMT -5
What do you mean exactly by "single" Brenn? Does that mean no significant other? or just not being married? I've been single (no significant other) for 5 1/2 years. I had one 14 month relationship and I was single for 6 years before that. For most of that time I was looking very hard for someone, almost desperately, but I've lately realized that the urge to have a girlfriend is really rather carnal. It's guided somewhat by horomonal urge and somewhat by an urge for validation as an individual. A girlfriend has the potential to add something to my life, sure, but my experience thus far is the possibility of a more full life with a girlfriend in it is actually slim. There's a better chance it will take away from my life rather than add to it. I certainly don't know any married men I would trade places with. But I leave my options open. There's always the dream, of course, but to tell the truth, I stopped really trying awhile ago. It's just too emotionally exhausting to try to find someone- I've learned- so I just don't try. And if you're a man not actually "trying" to get a girlfriend, you pretty much won't. Women just don't approach men as often and if you don't approach them they'll usually never know you like them. Oh well. You will meet people through dating sites Brenn. The one I listed (plentyoffish.com) has brought me numerous dates. None of them were successful in the least bit, and I was attracted to none of the people I met, but I did meet women. Another thing I recommend is the yahoo messenger member directory. search.profiles.yahoo.com/interests?.oc=a Click a gender, type in a location (like "petoskey"), and you'll find online people you can introduce yourself to. I realize this is kind of weird for some people but I've met many women this way. Oh, and if you were in a porn Brenn, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. You're a pretty hot number. But I'm sure you realize that to an extent. There are just very few decent men out there to choose from. A little tidbit about men that may help you: Dress Cheap. I don't mean "slutty" but cheap. Wear cheap clothes, sweatpants, ect. Let your hair be a little messy. Don't wear makeup. More men will approach you if you do these things. Why? The "why" doesn't matter. Just do it. Trust me, it will work. Oh, and here's a column I wrote about this subject that you may find interesting. northernmich.proboards47.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=society&thread=1193371107 |
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Post by Lil Ol' Brenn on Oct 25, 2007 22:51:13 GMT -5
Hello SSQ, I had met a young gentleman while working as a professional fitness trainer, over ten years ago to date. Despite all my disbelief about "Love at first site" I was taken when he walked in. I am normally reserved, but with him I began to babble and display my inner child like behavior. We seen each other on a day to day basis as a trainer/client relationship. He was intelligent, which meant we would hold great conversation. Finally, someone with an opinion of his own..good bad and ugly. I love a challenge. We dated..oh a good seven years. Everyday felt like it was the best. I was unstoppable with love for him. He would leave on business trips and go to strip joints, which I did not mind. Then this led to cheating. I was devastated needless to say. I lost my self-esteem and buried myself into reading and finding hobbies. He proposed to try and make things better, I walked and never looked back. I have the haunting voice inside, what would have happened if I did stay. I got to the point I didn't want to leave my condo for quite some time, It was not depression just an inner fear that society would look at me as a failure. Or, given the fact I may see him in passing. So I made sure all my travels were routine and timed, Silly hey? Because I was physically active and needed to lose all reminders of him I joined the military. I figured this would help me built up my inner confidence and remove the fear of not wanting to leave my condo. I spent six years in the armed forces. Since then he has married someone with similar features to myself and has two children, yippee for him. I am so over him and ready to date again. I have anxiety on how to go about finding someone. Most men don't ask me out, I guess because I'm not the average dumb girl. I had a gay friend of mine from San Fran tell me it's because I'm old..lol. But I guess 34 is old to begin dating. I let one relationship take down my entire life for a while. Most people dub you at that age as being divorced, mentally ill, jealous, lesbian etc. Yup, must be something wrong if she is not taken..hey? I am head strong to find that special someone again. Let me ask you this SSQ, is there any nightlife gathering places you would recommend? I don't drink much, and don't smoke but I do know how to have fun still, well maybe..  I have some time off the first week in November and wouldn't mind a co-pilot for some Northern MI adventure. |
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Post by Lil Ol' Brenn on Oct 25, 2007 23:01:31 GMT -5
Benji just single all the way around with a little spoiled dog..lol I'm to the point I may as well adopt a child and be at peace that another loves me back.  I am a little creeped out to try a dating site, but hey I can always push delete. You mentioned Petoskey, how far is this from Alpena area? Any good hang out hot spots, one that my old ass would blend into...? ;D |
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Post by Benji Duncan on Oct 25, 2007 23:04:07 GMT -5
To be honest, I don't know. I don't drink whatsoever so I never go to bars or clubs.
Using a dating site is a heck of a lot less creepier than going to a bar in my view.
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Post by Lil Ol' Brenn on Oct 25, 2007 23:11:45 GMT -5
 ya your probably right benji
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Post by Apple Pie Princess on Nov 1, 2007 10:06:39 GMT -5
Hey! I met my current bf in a bar!  |
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ya your probably right benji
