porn problem

[Benji Duncan]

lilolbrenn said:

Benji,

Thank you for answering this question honestly, I admire this about you.

"There are things men do when they masturbate that they just cannot do when they have sex, because there's no way their partner would enjoy it."

What would a women not enjoy? Well, from as man's point of view

There are multiple ways men have orgasms and multiple degrees of orgasm depending on what the man does. When you're having sex you're worried to an extent about pleasing the woman too, so you don't concentrate as much on achieving a strong orgasm. Often we have orgasms that hardly feel good at all, besides sending us into our refractory period, which makes us unwanting of sex for awhile.

Basically, though this is a simplistic categorization- there are orgasms that target the penis and orgasms that sort of encompass most of the body. When a man stimulates the head of his penis along with the shaft, he's more likely to have a full body orgasm. When a man targets the shaft alone, he's more likely to have a penile orgasm. It sounds like we would always prefer the full body orgasm but often we do not, and some men never prefer it. The penile orgasm has more potential for intensity and it's easier to concentrate on. During sex a man almost cannot have a penile orgasm because the head of the penis and the back of the shaft is usually being stimulated. During masturbation a man can ignore the head of the penis altogether and only stimulate the part of the shaft he wants to stimulate.

The main difference between sex and masturbation is something called "the stop and go method." When men masturbate and they think they're getting close to orgasm, they stop, often pinch down on the base of the penis, cutting off the ejaculatory duct (the tube like part of the penis that runs on the underside of it) like you would pinch down on a hose to stop the water. Then they wait a few minutes until the whole process resets itself and start again. Each time a man gets close to ejaculating and stops, then starts again, he's making his eventual ejaculation more intense when it happens. A man can do this as many times as he wants when he masturbates and after a number of times he has to stop every minute or so. There is virtually no limit to how intense you can cause an ejaculation to occur this way.

Would you want to have sex with a man that pulled out of you every couple minutes and just sat there for awhile, trying to think about basketball, then entered you again? There's just no way to do this in sex without making it extremely weird and unpleasurable for a woman.

The key component to a strong male ejaculation is what is called in some circles "the ride." The second a man begins to ejaculate, he flexes his prostate and holds back the sperm as it's traveling through the inside of him, before it enters the penis. Often men miss "the ride" because they're not paying enough attention or don't notice when they start to ejaculate and they miss that second where they need to flex their prostate and the sperm just comes out. No matter what you do, the orgasm is weak if you miss "the ride." This is incredibly disappointing when it happens. When a man has sex, it's very easy for him to miss "the ride" because the penis is soaked inside a highly lubricated vagina and he just can't feel what's going on down there as well.

[Benji Duncan]

julia said:

Benji its not only wrong its illegal, pedophiles go to jail so "its only natural" kind of argument just falls on its face there. I can't see whats remotely attractive about watching a 40+ man rape a 3 year old girl, that pretty sick how ever you like to cut it really.

Well, three year old is kind of extreme, but when we speak of eight or ten year olds- the ages that are usually featured in those types of things and are usually molested in general, I disagree. If any man were honest with himself I think he would find watching that a bit erotic. The only thing that would make it unerotic is his own conscience about it. But if conscience is going unchecked it is actually rather normal for a man to find that erotic.

It's not the erotic feelings that make an act like that possible, it's ignoring another human beings feelings and ignoring that human beings dignity and ignoring their pain and suffering that make it possible. We all have an urge to kill. But it isn't until a person decides to completely not care about the life of another person, or the feelings of that persons family, that she can kill. An urge to engage in human cruelty is not mentally ill, nor is it immoral even.

I guess beastiality is a different story and will accept that people watch it out of curiousity. Can't imagine in a sexual way though but more in the "dude thats so funny/weird".

Right. How many people enjoy "faces of death?" It's pretty much the same appeal, except it's more college friendly.

[Apple Pie Princess]

The man who started this topic didn't want his God ordained marriage soiled with pornography, so he came here for help. You turn around and tell him it is okay for him to just introduce anything into his marriage he wants to introduce. Soil it up! Have a ball! Watch porn! Find any way you can to focus on getting yourself off! Your marriage doesn't matter, only your penis matters.

They are partners. Do you understand what that word means? Everything he does is her business, especially his thoughts.

Admin: Some of this post has been moved to "fight club" under "Benji is a college educated pervert"

Admin:Some of this post has been moved to "Society" under "perversions"

[Sweet Snowqueen]

she married him and his penis. Wouldnt you want to know where your wifes vagina is and what she is doing with it? Since you two share these parts anyway. I would.........!!!

[Benji Duncan]

Snow, this is not part of the debate section. That's why I forked the thread to "society."

[Marvin the Misfit]

It sounds like Brenns husband was just a pile of crap. I don't think it would have mattered what Brenn did, he still would have cheated it sounds.

I think Brenn gave pretty good advice. I also would love to see that cowboy outfit.

[Benji Duncan]

You know Marv, I do agree about the husband. He would have done what he did no matter what. But I think what Brenn did invited him to do it.

[Apple Pie Princess]

why was my message moved?

[Benji Duncan]

It's never a punitive act when I move messages to the debate section Apple.

A lot of people prefer that when they click a certain thread under a certain category that all the discussion in the thread is about the topic the title of the thread implies. I move messages sometimes to make the board friendly for people who feel that way.

Obviously when two or three or four different people discuss anything, they're going to say things each other disagrees with, and it's totally proper and good that they state their disagreement. This is going to happen with any topic, and it's a good thing. So I only relocate threads to the debate section when I sense the disagreement is going to result in a long debate that will take over a thread not intended to debate that subject. It's a judgment call on my part to decide which discussions are going to result in a total takeover of a thread and which one's will not. A disagreement that doesn't do this or that I don't think will do this I just leave alone. I also tend to leave it alone if the interrupted thread doesn't have any real value in and of itself. If someone else wants a thread "forked" I'll usually just go ahead and do it though, even if I feel it isn't needed.

All the members of the forum have the ability to fork a thread. And you are all welcome to use that ability.

So "no debate outside the debate section" and "stick to the topic of the thread" are not really rules persay, just things I ask of people out of consideration and try to uphold by moving an occasional post or thread. It was perfectly fine of you to say what you said about my post, at least as far as what I consider good forum conduct.

Any personal attack is relocated to the Fight Club or deleted if it occurs elsewhere. This is a solid rule and it is slightly punitive in nature. When you discuss a topic with someone and someone wants to change that topic to discuss you they're doing it as a tactic to keep the issue from being discussed fairly. Fight club threads all are about personal issues people have with one another. The rest of the debate section is about debating ideas. Discussing a persons ideas is not the same thing as discussing a person. Never the two shall intertwain.

[denny]

good advice all around. thanks everyone.

but maybe not good advice for my situation. my wife is very conservative and would never agree to any kind of sexy stuff.

i think one of you makes a good point about whether this is acceptable or not. maybe i'm just letting my upbringing come out of me with the guilt. if i keep it under control and don't let it effect my marriage, maybe it's okay. no, i dont watch porn all night or anything like that. i also spend no money on it.

thanks everyone.

[Apple Pie Princess]

denny, you should join the forum. we talk about lots of interesting things besides this.

[Josh]

Beastiality and pedophilia is disgusting. The rest? meh. A man looks at porn....so what? Whats the problem? Whats the argument? Adult human beings wish to show their bodies, I wish to see it. People that have problems with porn and the same type prudes that believe prostitution is wrong. A woman is making a living using something else god gave her other than her brain. She gets paid to do what a lot of you do for free, others meet men in a nightclub and take them home. Thats not illegal....unless you charge money? Silly silly simple minded world we live in.

[Josh]

brenn, julia, applepie princess. Nice icons, great looking eye candy. 2 hands up. Who needs porn? I just a rubbed a few out to these.

[Gingy]

denny it is natural especially for men to like porn. your wife should be thankful you watch porn and not doing anything else.

what is the deal? as a woman it doesn't bother me.

[Benji Duncan]

alqadakeller said:

brenn, julia, applepie princess. Nice icons, great looking eye candy. 2 hands up. Who needs porn? I just a rubbed a few out to these.

The letchery never stops, even online?